Thứ Tư, 16 tháng 4, 2008


Today I made myself so stupid, so dumb.
Sometimes, I don't know what 's wrong with me. I'm shy, hesistate and make myself look bad in front of everybody.

I figure out that after crying, people will get stronger. When your emotion accumulates up to a particular point, you will cry. Whenever I cry, I always comfort myself by saying:" Okay!! It's all rite. Take it easy. You have gone through more things painful than that. It is not big deal ..."

I don't why American (or Korean!!) can push themselves hard like this.

Thứ Năm, 27 tháng 3, 2008

Let it snow

It has been a while since the last post. Today, it starts snowing again. I don't know but when I stepped out of the door, I had a feeling that if I didn't enjoy it, I would never have a chance to see it again.

These days are kind of boring!! (yeah! it must be my fault and I tried but I don't know how to do better). I'm now understanding the feeling of one girl in my junior class in Viet Nam. She said she wasn't a part of the class. At this time, I don't know why she said that. I thought I had the most wonderful class I 've ever had. Although we tend to play by groups (probably most Asian high school kids do that), everyone seem really happy in their groups. And we had some projects, like history, english or play that we need to perform together. It was a like small competitions that we could see the abilities of other groups, and I really enjoyed working in my group and with two best friends that were so wonderful to me. Even though the relationship between some groups seem ... :( , it seems that everybody were fine in their spots. I was extremely pleased with what I had ... and I didn't care about some people. My world was my group (of course, I talked to other people in other groups as well ... but I didn't care much about them because I knew that they were doing fine). So when this girl told me that she never felt she was a part of the class, I couldn't understand what she meant.

... And now I'm kind of understanding about that because I am experiencing the feeling. I know it is still hard for me here due to the language and other stuffs. Sometimes, I don't know how to start a conversation ... or start a relationship ... or maintain a relationship ... Sometimes, I don't know what to do with myself and I feel really lonely because when I try, I don't receive the same things back. Everybody knows that you are there, but not many people care to say something ... There are tons of things that I don't want to say because when people hear that, they will question as I used to question my friend:" Why does she have a thinking like that? We are living happily."

... If she were here now, I would beg her to forgive me. I wish I hadn't acted in this way to her. Yes, I were living happily but she wasn't. I were happy in my own world but she didn't have anybody who really pay attention to her and wanted to talk to her ... We knew that she was in our class, but we just didn't think much about her, about her feeling. I know that I did the same thing to not only her but other friends also.

... God has been teaching me so many things since the time I came here. I faced with some problematic troubles, and experienced more feelings that I would never know when I was in VN. Actually, I'm fine ... Just sometimes, my heart feel cold. I hope my friend will have real good friends in the future because she deserves it.

Thứ Ba, 19 tháng 2, 2008

My trouble

1. Okie! These days I don't know what I am doing. I used to really want to join the track but: first, my package is still far away + second, my legs fell hurt when running + third, it costs money for physical examination and for just joining the activity (which I didn't know before). I have a feeling that track will be as bad as basketball which I used to take before in highschool. I must accept that there is something that I am not at it no matter how hard I try.

2. I feel hopeless and upset and stressed today.

Ooh! I don't know what to do now. I try to listen to some music to relax.

Thứ Hai, 18 tháng 2, 2008

My happy ending

This is the view from our house. Oh! I love this house. If Mr & Mrs M wanted to sell it, I would be the first one who asks to buy it.

Something I need to do when I come back to Viet Nam
1. Get the visa to come back here
2. Take the SAT and TOEFL (really really important)
3.Buy some new clothes - I don't why girls like buying new clothes although they have a full closet at home ... and sometimes, I just don't know what to do with new clothes :( It wastes money and gains nothing!!
4. Take the senior picture - take some really really cool pictures
5. Learn new stuff and read more
6. Work more

1. These days I am thinking so much about myself - about how did I come here? and other stuffs.
2. I remember the time I was in VietNam, the time I and Minh sang together ( it can't be denied that we are similar in some aspects - and I figure out that Minh has influenced me a little bit)
3. I'm thinking about my life here - a busy day ... I'm still a studious student with a lot of homework. I don't know why I learn so much while my friends are playing outside. One of the reason is I don't know what to play outside. I 'm really jealous of people who know how to ski ... ak ak ... I wished VietNam had snow !!!
4. My dreaming about beach and sunshine. I dream about it everyday. The mountain here is not very bad. Both are beautiful, but I want to swim in the beach and lie down and enjoy the sunshine.
5. I talked to my friend in VN yesterday and knew that something has changed from the day I left VN. Some people are getting closer, and some further. Probably I can use the word : rearrange, (or) reorder. I mean I have a feeling that when I come home this summer, I will lose something and not everything is the same.

This is from Tim's blog (Mr & Mrs.M 's son). I really like it. I really like the way he put these pictures and the music (I love music generally). Viewing this one, I think my 7 months in America is useless. I have been searching something that is not worth searching.

Thứ Ba, 12 tháng 2, 2008

My brilliant idea

Hi all!

This is the first time I write an entry in this blog. I used to have one in Yahoo but a virus attacked it ...... :< (hu hu hu ...)

Today, I decided that I should rest a little bit. I know that I am a hard working person but sometimes I just don't want to think about studying anymore.

I have a really cool idea! when I come back to Viet Nam, maybe I will make a photo book (may be 3 : 1 for Mrs. Marston; 1 for my best friend Eunie; 1 for myself). At first, I don't know where to start because I understand VN so clearly so I want to include all the beautiful things of VN in my book; however, Mr.s Marston suggested me some ideas: as simple as my daily life in VN, the street in HCM city, the traditional food ect.

I have never loved VN so much like this. Although I like Korean, Japanese, Chinese, or American culture, I really love and am proud that I am Vietnamese.